gary b asked:


The question as I phrased it is undeniably vague, but I didn’t know how else to encompass my situation in 110 characters and I will try to be succinct in this detailed section.

I’m a second year undergraduate student of relatively higher than average aptitude for the field that I’m studying and I’ve been brought up to perform well in the field (i.e. always enrolled in the advanced courses and kept ahead of other students my age when in high school). I’ve also always been a hermit and consequently have almost exclusively derived my self-worth from my related accomplishments.

I’ve done a lot of introspection in the last not so little while and have realized that I don’t recollect ever enjoying myself when pursuing my goals in the said field and have only continued along the same path because it’s what I did best. I’m pretty sure this has taken an unhealthy emotional toll on me (e.g. anxiety brought on by the fear of failure). When stumbling upon this realization, other realizations soon followed as corollaries, primarily an uncertainty about my future. These thoughts have really rattled me. I’ve become more detached from and apathetic towards my studies.

I’ve been considering other academic options that are more rooted in what I consider to be personal interests but am lacking in experience. This is not to mention the uncertainty that comes with veering completely off course from the path that I envisioned for myself. It feels like if I make any drastic changes academically, most of my accomplishments go down the toilet and I’ll have to reinvent myself. I’m also finding it difficult to find willpower to do much of anything related to my studies (In the last little while I’ve mostly been reading whatever I could get my hands on that sounds interesting and watching interesting videos on the internet).

I’d just like to know if anyone has experienced something remotely similar to my situation. I should also mention that I have no materialistic goals (I’m not at all after money) and I’m not really concerned about “building a career”; I consider it far more important to be engaged in an activity that I enjoy, however I don’t know if there’s anything that I’m passionate enough about to consider taking a major risk. Financing is also not really a big problem.